I’ve decided to learn the guitar
Not to be one of those dudes in the park
Strumming along in hopes of finger-picking my way into lady parts
Another reason.
Other than most of the meals I’ve eaten,
All the Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo.
And (insert name of liquor)
There aren’t too many things I’ve finished that were not necessary
Saying, “I’ll get to that later.”
I have countless poems, paintings, song lists on various media players,
Feelings of attraction, paling hearts, souls, emotions, all waiting
Wasting away because I was too afraid to commit.
Even with things I already had knowledge of
Things I was good at.
Ya know, “artsy” stuff.
Drawings and coloring books gathering dust,
The ability to love and gain another’s trust
Cast aside because I chose not to stay disciplined
“Oh, that will be there when I return.”
“Oh, she’ll like me even though I give her affection on my terms.”
Placing life on pause like some sort of game.
Toying with intimidation, playing it as boredom
Knowing deep down I was completely afraid of completion.
But not this
Once I get my hands on this instrument and place my ten to her six
I will be her apprentice
Submitting to her stringed will because I don’t know shit
About her
But there’s something about her
The depth she gets on her own power
No extension cords. Just progressive ones
The pain I’ll feel in my hands will be a respectful one.
I’ll be memorizing the alphabet in another language
Our conversations will be horrible until I master her speech patterns
I’ll marvel at her appearance until that happens
I love her beauty enough to engrave it into my spirit.
Be as understanding of her soul as she is of mine when I hear it
She soothes me
Easing my unknown in a way so I no longer fear it.
That’s what ailed me
Being scared of investing time in something not knowing the outcome.
Undone projects, deeds, and heartfelt
“I like you’s”
Sitting in a pile marked “Never Will Become”
I won’t do that with her
I will finish what I’ve begun
See something develop that I started because I chose to do it
Even though, I get the feeling she did the choosing.
Once I caress my acoustic
Despite the truth that I’m going to be terrible at it for a long time
For once in my life
I’m gonna stick through it
Peace.
