#WriteFree365 – Day 232: Lotus Flower

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(This song instantly became one of my ten favorites the first time I heard it.  Thom Yorke does melancholy so well.  Day 232…)

Slowly we unfurl, as lotus flowers, ’cause all I want is The Moon upon a stick–just to see what if–just to see what is.  I can’t kick your habit, just to feed your fast-ballooning head…

What were you blessed with
To be able to Sun into Earth
Celestial roles reversed
My world revolves around you
This is history unlearned
So I’m repeating myself
Believing this to be true
Lest I be a heretic to you
Whose temple I worship.

A bite of your flesh
And I forget my purpose
The haze from the steam off your collarbone
Is my heat meshing with your cold shoulder
This kiss
That I never realize is goodbye until the future
Is the icing on the cake
As sweet as it is
Too much of it is unhealthy..

#WriteFree365 – Day 231: Now or Never

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(My soul… Day 231…)

I feel different today.  I don’t know what else to say…

I had three epiphanies this morning.
Something about the bathroom fosters thinking.

First:
Oppressors do not lie to insult our intelligence
They do so to flaunt their autonomy
The law wears camouflage
Armed with assault weaponry
Bullets coated in rubber amendments
Reciting the first words of the Constitution in smoke signal
The Bill of Rights barricade an entire block of people
With their death certificates printed on the back of it

Second:
Neutral people are worse than these oppressors
The enemy known is better than the one hiding under the covers
Such learned behavior is dangerous
Claim neutrality like the Swiss if you want
But don’t be surprised when your people have holes in them
I’ll be waiting with open arms and an “I told you so.”

Third:
I cannot deny the mountains of angst and worry resting on my spirit
Layers of Himalayas as I watch a country attempt to eradicate those born in her womb
My soul is heavy
I waited for the final bale of lies to break vertebrae
I feel this gravity
This magnetic pull from within my stomach
Then I realized
That’s not depression
Not sorrow
That’s fire.
Years and years of having to corral this blaze centuries old has agitated it so much that the embers flicker in my eyes
I can’t call it rage.
My intellect is reinforced at the seams
But that mask
The foundation we apply every day to hide the beauty marks that inferno has left
Is cracking.

So as I sit in my bathtub
Thinking
The time for pretending is over.

#WriteFree365 – Day 230: Dear God 2.0

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(My spirit is still strong, though I can feel weight pressing down on it.  Day 230…)

They said, “He’s busy.  Hold the line, please.”  Call me crazy.  I thought, maybe, He could mind read…

You know which letter this is
You know who it’s from.
You also know I have quite a few questions.
I don’t know where to start
So I’ll just start

I’ve prayed
I’m sure those across from me have done the same
Will my prayer be answered?
And if the answer is no
Is their Our Father more hallowed than mine?
Are their guns aimed at whom they pray for?
Are their bullets blessings cloaked in shell casing
That should they strike me in the chest
It’s because You know my heart?
Am I saying the wrong prayer?
If I die while awake
Have I assured my soul is Yours to take?
Am I in improper prayer position?
I’m on my knees
With my hands in the air
I don’t want to fold them
And have my brother under Your name
Mistake me for holding something that’ll bring our conversation to a screeching Amen.

Are they out of Lamb’s blood?
Does Your protection pass us over if we’re not behind our doorway?
Does the Angel of Death need that much help?
I didn’t know rosary beads came in hollow point
So I’m sending a Hail Mary
From deep in the pocket I’m scrambling out of
Because clearly, protection has broken down
Catch this one, please.
Don’t let so-called defenders knock it down.
And if You do
I guess it was their time to win…

#WriteFree365 – Day 229: ‘TilWeDie

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(Hopefully, thus week is better.  Day 229…)

I fell on my knees today to find myself.  And it helps when it ain’t no one around to tell the truth to–when I’m not half the God I used to be…

I prayed
One of those prayers
The kind that you stutter through
Because the truth is so heavy on tongue
It requires all your strength to say it

The kind of prayer that brings realization
That you have no idea who you are
Not truly yourself
Just selfish
But the self in you bows to the holiness felt at dawn
And you spend night on your knees asking for answers

My prayers used to be egotistical
The blessing of life spoken as a “yeah, but”
Ignoring that nothing happens without it
Prayer is requesting forgiveness
Admitting that help is needed
And accepting assistance that our egos cannot comprehend.

Yesterday I prayed
To a distant relative
Hallowed be the family name
Halfway through the valley
Tremors in my spirit bright me to kneel
And I understood
I don’t fear evil
Just the truth.
Forgive me for my shortcomings
Forgive me for believing my shortcomings were what defines me
To the God that opens my eyes every morning:
Thy will be done.

#WriteFree365 – Day 228: Major Minor Love

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(It’s been one hell of a week.  I can say that I don’t think my writing has suffered through the mental strain.  Day 228…)

  You’ve got my heart beating triple time.  A dark rhythm, beating just behind.  Expose the subtle rewards across your face…

Take a breath before you climb me
This crescendo requires perfect control
So nothing gives out when you reach the top
There’s more music to be made

My rod
My staff
Provide comfort as I traverse your valley
Your hips
Wind up and down the scale
Fa can be heard
From you taking whole Re’s
Drops of golden sun from me
Needle to thread
As we get
So
So
So…
And rise like dough until we are where we started

The sheets are marked with our key signature.
Your legs are like measure
My tongue runs the melody between them
Repeat
Repeat
Quarter rest
Repeat
You sing the notes composed
Nowhere near composed
And I follow along by ear in perfect harmony

I grabbed your neck in C Major
You held me tightly in G
And hummed through the progression
Until we shared personal Heaven
A minor seventh.

#WriteFree365 – Day 227: Out My Mind, Just In Time

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(I didn’t take long to write today’s entry.  The words came rather easily.  Day 227…)

I’m a recovering undercover over-lover…

The thoughts in my head
Require me to lay and stare at the ceiling
Thinking
Stubbornly refusing help
You would do the same
If the very thing that keeps us alive
Was questioned because you gave it.

For lack of a better word
It’s crazy
Giving love an unfair label
But all is fair
When the war on your heart rages on
After you’ve retreated and surrendered

Being patient
The medicine is sure taking awhile to heal
Or mask symptoms of sickness
Whatever you prescribed
I’ve taken two to ease my sanity
And I’ll call you in the morning.

#WriteFree365 – Day 226: People Help The People

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(This song jumped at me.  After the week this country has had, I guess my Spotify knew what my heart wanted to say before I did.  Day 226…)

People, help the people.  And if you’re homesick, give me your hand and I’ll hold it…

What if the prayers you’ve scraped your knees for
Were answered by a helping hand?
What if God
Showed Himself to you through one of his children
And you were so busy looking for Him
That He was unrecognizable?

The Universe shows us our common threads
Hoping we can feel how connected we are
You’re not alone
Nor are your cries for assistance going silently into the dark
The Light comes in many forms
Brightest when we reach for it in others

Be an answered prayer
Be a hug when another wraps himself in his own fear
Then souls everywhere will say
Amen.

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